Rooster Testicles!

I know this is not a very delicate title for today’s blog, but it is appropriate. As I have discussed a plethora of times, the good wife and I have wonderful stories that deal with our teaching, people we have met along life’s path, and the adventures we have shared together.

The above modified photo joggled my memory. Yes, it is time for another story. Relax and learn about capons!

When Judy and I were dating, Glenville State College operated a college farm on Mineral Road. Pigs, cattle, chickens, and produce were all located on the site where the Mineral Road Faculty Housing units now exist. The college obtained fresh milk, eggs, sausage, and other products from the operation of this facility. We also had an agricultural program at the time that was very popular with our rural students. Judy was so impressed when we would hold hands and I would use my Appalachian pig call to send a plethora of hogs running toward us. (She has always been impressed with my innate abilities.)

Mr. Burl Law was the person who headed the college farm and agricultural studies program at GSC. Burl was a fellow who knew everything there was to know about farming. He had a smoke shop at his house where he would annually cure thousands of salted hams. His house was located where I.L. Morris now has his offices in Glenville.

Burl related this story to me as we were teaching a Biology 101 lab together. One day on the farm he was busily transforming roosters into capons. A capon is a rooster (a male chicken) whose testicles are removed at a young age. Typically the castration is performed when the chicken is between 6 and 20 weeks old.

The benefits are a non-aggressive male that can serve as a mother for baby chicks. They also produce ample, tender meat when butchered and as such are a choice poultry meat in some locales.

After the operation, Burl had a large pile of fresh rooster testicles. Not wanting to waste anything, he thought of mountain oysters that he had eaten as a kid. For you non-farming types, mountain oysters (also know as pairie oysters in the Midwest) are the testicles of an animal such as a calf, sheep or boar. Those from a younger animal are best. Though they're not terribly popular in the United States, testicles are considered a delicacy in Italy and France. They can be sautéed, deep-fried, braised and poached. Enough of this Julia Child type gourmet background. Now for the rest of the story.

Burl gathered up the pile of fresh avian testicles and proceeded to take them to the house. His wife was shopping in Weston so he thought this be the perfect time to fry up these gourmet morsels. Lightly dipping each gonad in a mixture of egg then with a dusting of flour, he started frying the huge pan of rooster testicles.

They were looking wonderful. The testicles were becoming a golden brown in the sizzling oil. TRAGEDY THEN STRUCK OUR COOK!

Burl had forgotten his basic physics lesson. What happens to a small circular object containing fluid and encapsulated in a strong membrane when high heat is applied? Yes, explosions! How was Burl to know that he should have sliced each testicle before frying? As the testicles became a golden brown, he was bombarded by exploding rooster gonads that were propelled from the frying pan. They landed on the cabinets, stove surface, refrigerator, and even the ceiling!

His wife returned from Weston while Burl was still trying to get the last of the rooster testicles off the ceiling. “Why in the world are you cleaning the ceiling?” Burl looked lovingly at her and said, “Nellie, you would not believe me if I told you.”